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Do I understand correctly that phrases like "lhe dizer" and "dizer-lhe" are identical in terms of meaning but the stress is different? In the former, it's "lhe" (to you, not to anyone else) and the former it's the verb (say or tell, not whisper or look at).
Correct?
By stress I mean emphasis.
For instance
E como era o meu dever (ainda que me custou, realmente custou-me), lembrei-lhe que...
If I understand your question, yes, the position of the clitic can change the meaning of sentence, although there are not many situations where 1) you can choose between enclisis and proclisis and 2) the choice is material to the meaning of the sentence.
There are situations where the choice between enclisis and proclisis is arbitrary, for instance, infinitive clauses introduced by a preposition (except a and com):
Não gostei de o ouvir.
Não gostei de ouvi-lo.
There is no change in meaning between the sentences. There are other situations when the choice is arbitrary.
But let's get the more interesting (but rarer) cases, where the choice exists and is not arbitrary. When you have a pre-verbal constrastive focus (usually with an adverb, but not necessarily), you use the proclisis. These are more or less equivalent to cleft sentences. However, this pre-verbal constituent might also have a topicalized reading that can be triggered by the use of the enclisis. Example:
Dificilmente o vejo daqui. (I can hardly see him from here/It will be difficult to see him from here).
Dificilmente, vejo-o daqui. (I see him from here with difficulty).
Muitas pessoas se manifestaram. (It was many — not few — people that protested).
Muitas pessoas manifestaram-se. (There was a large group of identifiable people that protested).
No. This pronouns that can be moved are unstressed, in both cases the tonic is the final syllable of "dizer".
lhe dizer
dizer-lhe
That's why these pronouns "me", "te", "se", "o", "a", "lhe" etc are often called "pronomes átonos", which litteraly means unstressed pronouns!
The stressed ones are the ones that are the subjects of sentences (such as "eu", "tu", "ele", "ela" etc) or that come with a preposition (such as "mim", "ti", "si" etc).
I just didn't understand what do you mean when you say "(say or tell, not whisper or look at)", could you clarify this part of the question?
